When to take gun away

Dhawk · Post by **Dhawk** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:16 am

Had to take my 19 year old grandson's 9mm pistol away from him. He physically attacked his mom and I feel would have used the gun if he had had it.

Reason for removing gun:

1. Diagnosis of depression
2. Refused to take antidepressants or takes them sporadically which makes for huge mood swings and depression worse
3. Has a terminal diagnosis of cancer--possible months to live, just off radiation therapy and is still on chemo
4. Pissed off at the world--I feel rightfully so
5. Can't get him out of the house to involve him in other things to get his mind off of himself
a. I understand this as there are times when his blood counts are low and he feels like sh*t
6. His other grandpa (who has a lot of guns) is a diagnosed *****zo and also won't take his meds as prescribed. (they relate to each other and feed off each other) (I don't feel he is a good influence on him either)

I'm scared he will do something he will regret and we will regret either to himself and/or others. The fact that he had a gun and was allowed to purchase a gun makes me question are our gun purchasing laws strick enough?

If he went off with a gun or anything else for that matter, we would all feel terrible and wonder if we should have done more! It always amazes me how one family member's decision affect the rest of the family. Family dynamics is a very interesting and at times scary!! It is really hard to protect someone from themselves!

bigfatdave · Post by **bigfatdave** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:30 am

you took away his car, too, right?
that's a 2000# motorized battering ram

and you took out anything more potent than Simple Green from under the sink, I'm sure

and you made sure he couldn't get anything heavy to a high place

and you restricted his access to anything that could be used as a club

===

Maybe I'm being a bit harsh ... but GUNS aren't the source of violence, and I'm unwilling to tolerate any more laws that assume otherwise.
Deal with your family matters however you see fit, within any authority the individuals that compose your family cede to you ... but if you fear violence, taking away a single tool is hardly a complete solution.

Dhawk · Post by **Dhawk** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:43 am

Actually we did take away his car d/t the heavy nacotics he is on for pain control.
The rest I agree with you as there is no right answer.
But I feel when we fill out those forms to purchase and qualify for purchasing a gun, it is too easy to lie. That is when it is up to the family to step up and monitor who is safe to have a gun or car, etc. The law or government can only go so far. We have to be responsible for ourselves and our loved ones as we know their personalities better than any public official.

Actually he is too weak to do anyone harm physically. But he is strong enough to pull a trigger or push a gas pedal.

bgreenea3 · Post by **bgreenea3** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:26 pm

this is a touchy subject..... Unless someone has been involentarly commited and found to present a danger to their self or others due to their mental illness I don't think the government should step in.

That being said your terminally ill grand son of 19 who has made threats to his mom and self shouldn't have a gun right now. I think it is the family's place to figure out these issues, just as you did.

Yes it is easy to lie on a form but thats no differentthan lieing on ony other form like when you get your license "no sir I am not narcoleptic zzzzzzzzz" but if he had a serious mental illnes and was judged insane , for lack of a better term right now" it would come up on the NCICS check.

the VA tech shooter was crazy so was that shooter who tried to kill Giffords, at least at the time because no sane person would do those things, it doesn't mean they had those signs their whole life and were violent towards others or their selves, thats something that can't be predicted.

maybe if he's being violent towards mom the police should step in and lock him up for a while and maybe force him to get mental help in the process... but thats a tough call no matter how you do it.

bgreenea3 · Post by **bgreenea3** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:33 pm

dang it i actually agree with BFD 100%......

Dhawk · Post by **Dhawk** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:04 pm

Thanks everyone. It is always good to get another set of eyes on the matter. I find alot of good people in USA when you need help. Someone is always there to help, all you have to do is be humble and ask.

blue68f100 · Post by **blue68f100** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 3:13 pm

I think you did the right thing.

Laws are for the legal person, does very little to stop someone from doing a crime. That's up to the individual decision. We have way too many laws now, just need to enforce the ones we all ready have.

Sorry to here he has a terminal illness at such a young age. Not taking meds is something that needs to be addressed along with the threats. Normally persons with depression will take their own life and not others. In any case it's sad.

greener · Post by **greener** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 7:11 pm

Sorry to hear about your grandson. Sounds like he has problems at a level that would push most of us to the edge. He needs to be cared for in a manner that he isn't a danger to himself or others. Hope there is lots of support for the young man and his family.

Hakaman · Post by **Hakaman** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:34 pm

I agree with what Greener said. I wish him, and his situation, the best. Life is
tough, and seems unfair, that's because it is unfair. Hang in there!
Haka

Post by **Bullseye** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:11 pm

I'm sorry to hear of your family situation but I believe your actions were justified by the circumstances. I wish more families would intervene in situations such as these rather than saying it is someone else's responsibility. There are five stages of grief and it sounds like he's in the anger stage. Continue to be patient and care for him the best you can. Good luck.

R,
Bullseye

bgreenea3 · Post by **bgreenea3** » Sat Feb 04, 2012 5:30 pm

well said Bullseye.