Subject: Posted to Craig's List Personals: A MUST READ!!!!
Posted to Craig's List Personals:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in
Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43AM EST
I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I
hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I hope you somehow come across this message.
I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol
after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .
45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder
holster for it that evening.
Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't
it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to
wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in
your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling
up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had
her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.
I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this
morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the
big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go
Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the
curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the
drivers side.
I called a bunch of phone *** numbers from your cell phone. They'll
be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.
Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a
little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I
hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office
and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we
had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making
you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider
your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..
- Alex
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!
Posted to Craig's List Personals
Moderators: Bullseye, Moderators
